mysterious object that grants wishes

 Prompt: Write a story about a character who discovers a mysterious object that grants wishes, but with unexpected consequences.

A monkey finds a banana and he bites it *clunk* it’s a gold banana. HOO HOO HOO the monkey is mad. He wanted a real banana. The gold banana shines and a real banana is produced. The monkey eats the new banana and his eyes are opened. His pupils grow large. He sees the aurora borealis fill the forest. HOO HOO HOO the monkey wishes his friends could see this. The gold banana glows and emits a warm gold light. POOF. The monkey’s friends are teleported to the same location. They’re scratching their heads and their butts not sure what’s happening. Then their pupils grow wide. The forest around them disappears and they see a wormhole open up which they start being pulled through at high velocity. HOO HOOOO WOAH AHHH. The monkey’s start screaming in human speak. After 12 seconds the monkeys return to the forest a few feet above the ground they were swept up from. Boosh they fall down to the jungle fauna. Well that was a trip said the monkey. Yes it was said one of the female monkeys of the pod. A monkey with a moustache named George said let’s make acai bowls and never invent the iphone. The monkeys calmly hooted in a civil agreement. But the lowest-status male monkey of the group named Perry crossed two of his finger-like toes behind his back. “I am going to get rich and get the Stacy monkey who never gave me the time of day before.” 

Perry slapped sticks, coconuts, and uranium together. He made a phone. He held it up to his phone to make a call, but no other monkeys had a phone. He called up Joe Biden asking what he should do. Joe wasn’t sure either, but asked the monkey if he had any ice cream recommendations. Bananas of course. The monkey looked to see if he could find the gold banana to enlighten Joe Biden so that he could get better advice. But alas, the gold banana dissolved into the Aether after two wishes. Seems that was the limit. Perry then got brain cancer from his uranium iphone and died after slipping into dementia after a few months. The other monkeys enjoyed their Acai bowls and picked up surfing. 

End.