mysterious object that grants wishes

 Prompt: Write a story about a character who discovers a mysterious object that grants wishes, but with unexpected consequences.

A monkey finds a banana and he bites it *clunk* it’s a gold banana. HOO HOO HOO the monkey is mad. He wanted a real banana. The gold banana shines and a real banana is produced. The monkey eats the new banana and his eyes are opened. His pupils grow large. He sees the aurora borealis fill the forest. HOO HOO HOO the monkey wishes his friends could see this. The gold banana glows and emits a warm gold light. POOF. The monkey’s friends are teleported to the same location. They’re scratching their heads and their butts not sure what’s happening. Then their pupils grow wide. The forest around them disappears and they see a wormhole open up which they start being pulled through at high velocity. HOO HOOOO WOAH AHHH. The monkey’s start screaming in human speak. After 12 seconds the monkeys return to the forest a few feet above the ground they were swept up from. Boosh they fall down to the jungle fauna. Well that was a trip said the monkey. Yes it was said one of the female monkeys of the pod. A monkey with a moustache named George said let’s make acai bowls and never invent the iphone. The monkeys calmly hooted in a civil agreement. But the lowest-status male monkey of the group named Perry crossed two of his finger-like toes behind his back. “I am going to get rich and get the Stacy monkey who never gave me the time of day before.” 

Perry slapped sticks, coconuts, and uranium together. He made a phone. He held it up to his phone to make a call, but no other monkeys had a phone. He called up Joe Biden asking what he should do. Joe wasn’t sure either, but asked the monkey if he had any ice cream recommendations. Bananas of course. The monkey looked to see if he could find the gold banana to enlighten Joe Biden so that he could get better advice. But alas, the gold banana dissolved into the Aether after two wishes. Seems that was the limit. Perry then got brain cancer from his uranium iphone and died after slipping into dementia after a few months. The other monkeys enjoyed their Acai bowls and picked up surfing. 

End.

A Dog's Life

Every day I wake up at the crack of dawn. I sniff the air then go back to sleep. Next thing I know I;m in a boat. Then I'm in class. Then I'm asleep again. By the time I wake up I'm looking at her face. She's looking back at me. I eat seventeen burritos then I go back to sleep. It's a good life.

Stay cool!

It's that time of year where everything is warming up! So just remember to drink plenty of water, wear comfortable clothes, stay in the shade, and just keep cool! If you overheat you could pass out and that's bad for your health. ~Jelly

Ways To Boost Confidence

Confidence is affected by many factors — including our own feelings of self-worth or perceived degree of success. If you’re lacking in these areas then you should check out the following top ways to boost your confidence — which will have you feeling able to tackle any given situation!

Get a new imageIt doesn’t matter whether you are male or female — what you look like will always affect your confidence. Your everyday appearance — including what clothes you’re wearing, how your hair looks and what make-up you’re wearing — will make a massive difference to how you feel. All of us know how much our confidence can be knocked when having a bad hair day, or by having unsightly spots appear overnight smack bang in the middle of our faces!

It’s well worth investing in your appearance with new clothes or a new hairstyle, as this will really boost your confidence. Wear some colours that cheer you up and make you feel good about yourself, or go for a smarter option if you think this will make you feel more confident.

Get a new jobIt might be your job that is causing you to lack confidence. If you’re in a place where you’re constantly undermined or lacking a challenge, then your confidence is hardly going to be sky high. If that’s the case, then it’s probably time to move on and find a more challenging role.

Look for that job out there that you really want, and then apply for it — rather than constantly thinking about going for it and then doing nothing. If you get the job then you’ll feel extremely uplifted and much more confident. Admittedly, there is always a risk that your level of confidence will go down if you don’t get the job, but don’t let that bother you; instead, be proud of the fact that you tried — and then try again.

List your good pointsWrite out a list of all the things that you are good at, to act as reminder to yourself that you are least good at some things! Then, when you’re feeling that your confidence is on the wane, take the list out, read it, and add something new to it. If you’re struggling to think of things to add to your list, then it’s possible you’re missing the obvious or being too harsh on yourself.

It’s also worth remembering some of the things you have achieved so far in your life. They don’t have to be earth-shattering achievements, but could still be something to be proud of — such as passing your driving test, raising a family, getting fit, or successfully saving up for a trip away.

Work on your small talkSome people really struggle in social situations such as parties because they feel they lack the confidence to engage in small talk with people they do not know. They constantly avoid these situations and therefore their confidence does not improve — and nor does their circle of friends.

Our advice is: if you get invited somewhere, make sure you go! The more social situations you get in, the more comfortable you’ll feel making small talk to people you’ve only just met. Remember: most people probably feel the same way, and will probably be so relieved when you break the ice that they’ll open up and talk to you in kind.

Mix with positive peopleBeing around positive people will rub off on you and will get you in a positive frame of mind — as well as brimming with confidence! If you’re surrounded by happy, smiling faces and laughter, then isn’t that going to be infectious?
Being positive is all in the mind — so you have to make yourself think positively. But if there are positive people around giving you advice, building you up, and pushing you in the right direction, then thinking positively will come more easily and your confidence will naturally increase as a result. So, if you are aware that the people you mix with tend to bring you down a lot, then do something about it by getting some new friends.
Get fit and eat healthilyYour body shape and weight can have a major impact on your confidence levels — although we’re not saying that everyone who is overweight, underweight or needs to tone up is always lacking in confidence, of course. But getting more exercise and following a healthier diet will boost your sense of well-being — and this in turn will have a positive effect on your confidence.
Getting fitter and eating more healthily will definitely make a difference to your confidence levels — no matter how much or little you improve. Remember the saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’? Well, it’s true!
Be assertiveAssertiveness breeds confidence in yourself and gains the confidence of others around you. If you take control of a situation, you will gain confidence from that, and any positive feedback you get from others will surely help with your levels of confidence too.
Being assertive doesn’t have to mean being rude or bossy. You could start by making yourself stand tall so that people take notice of you and your oozing confidence. Then decide that each day it’s going to be you that makes everyday decisions at home and in the workplace, rather than waiting to be told what to do or being passive.
Take on a challengeDoing something new — such as learning a language, learning to play a musical instrument, or taking a class in some other discipline. Learning anything new is great for your confidence — and the added bonus is that you’ll meet lots of people who you’ll have at least one thing in common with.
If you are in interested in taking on an extreme challenge, why not consider running a marathon, or doing a sponsored bungee jump? Overcoming any major challenge will give you more confidence and will improve your self-esteem too. You will always have a sense of, ‘If I can do that, then I can do anything!’ after overcoming a personal challenge such as those suggested here.

Keep a diaryDo a ‘Bridget Jones’ and keep a diary that you can go back to and read or add to frequently. Diaries are a great way of raising your sense of self by reinforcing the fact that you and your opinions count.
Reading about what you’ve done in the past can help you realise what you’ve managed to overcome and how you’ve dealt with situations in your life — and you should be able to take some confidence from the fact that you survived or that you handled something in a positive manner. We can all learn things about ourselves by looking back; after all, experience breeds confidence.
Be philosophicalBeing philosophical about things means that if things don’t quite go the way you planned, you can put events into perspective and you won’t let the experience knock your confidence. For example, if you don’t get that job you had hoped for, then why not think about what else is round the corner, rather than ruminating too much on why you failed? Also, you should remember that failing to overcome a problem rarely means that it’s the end of the world!
Being positive and philosophical about things can be an attractive trait to have, because having a negative outlook can make other people want to shy away from you. It’s best to try to turn negatives into positives and not be too self-critical.

Pets help your health!

Many of the benefits of pets — companionship, affection and so on — have been well known for centuries — even numerous ancient Egyptians cherished their companion animals. However, data gathered during only the last few years have shown just how significantly our health is improved if we share our lives with animals.

A study undertaken in 2002 by the Waltham Center for Pet Nutrition and United States Food and Drug Administration revealed that the heart rates and blood pressures of pet owners increased less when the individuals were presented with math problems to solve if their companion animals were present.

Another study, one conducted by the United States National Institutes of Health during 2001, showed that people who have pets not only "make fewer doctor visits, especially for non-serious medical conditions," but are more likely to be alive one year after being treated for a coronary condition.

Several recent surveys of individuals sharing their lives with pets have revealed that most of them are convinced their health is improved by having animals around.

Ninety-two percent of the respondents to a survey conducted by the American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA) during 2002 indicated that they derive significant health benefits from their pets.

In addition, of the respondents:

• 76 percent stated their stress levels are reduced by their companion animals
• 65 percent indicated their mental health is improved by their pets
• 31 percent stated their physical fitness has been improved by their providing of exercise for their companion animals

A survey undertaken by the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA) in 2000 yielded results very similar to those obtained by the AAHA.

  

	Mixed Breed Cat

Eighty-eight percent of the senior citizens who responded to the APPMA survey indicated that "pets make their family or home life healthier, either emotionally or physically." In addition, 79 percent of all of the respondents stated they believe "pets help to create a healthier balance…with the increasing presence of technology" in homes.

"People feel that having a pet — a real being to care for and be with — helps balance the cold influence technology can have on a home," according to APPMA Communications Director Funda Alp.

"Pets are...more than just a member of the family — they are central to a healthy lifestyle," according to AAHA President Link Wellborn.

I couldn't agree more.

Health Benefits of Pet Ownership

The unique bond we share with our pets dramatically enriches our lives, our physical health and our emotional well-being. Many studies have shown that while we are taking care of our pets, our pets are taking care of us.

In fact…

• Pets Help to Lower Blood Pressure. A recent study at the State University of New York at Buffalo found that people with hypertension who adopted a cat or dog had lower blood pressure readings in stressful situations than did those who did not own a pet. (Dr. Karen Allen, State University of New York at Buffalo)
• Pets Help to Reduce Stress. Walking with a pet helps to sooth nerves and offers instant relaxation. Studies conducted worldwide have shown that the impact of a stressful situation is lesser on pet owners, especially males, than on those who do not own a pet. (Josephine M. Wills, Waltham Centre for Pet Nutrition, United Kingdom)
• Pets Help to Prevent Heart Disease. Because pets provide people with faithful companionship, research shows they may also provide their owners with greater psychological stability, thus a measure of protection from heart disease.(National Institute of Health Technology Assessment Workshop: Health Benefits of Pets)
• Pets Help to Lower Health Care Costs. People with pets actually make fewer doctor visits, especially for non-serious medical conditions. (National Institute of Health Technology Assessment Workshop: Health Benefits of Pets)
• Pets Help to Fight Depression. Pets help fight depression and loneliness, promoting an interest in life. When seniors face adversity or trauma, affection from pets takes on great meaning. Their bonding behavior can foster a sense of security. (Between Pets and People: The Importance of Animal Companionship)

Reading

Reading is beneficial for both children and adults. It can help you to cope with stress and anxiety, and provide a form of relaxation and escapism.

It is also a great ' brain tool', helping people of all ages to learn and develop important life skills, in terms of education, self improvement, positive life choices and all round well-being.

Children and adults can read to develop their language, vocabulary, and all round comprehension skills. Spelling and writing skills are also improved by regular reading.

If you have sight or reading difficulties such as visual impairment or dyslexia you can still enjoy the wonderful world of story telling and literature. If your child is unable to read themselves, you can read to them. If you have difficulties, ask others to read to you. Many books are available as audio CDs. And, you will be able to buy Braille versions of some books. Ask at your local bookshop for advice and information.

Never stop learning

As well as academic learning, reading also offers a wide range of other life skills. Books can help children learn more about the world around them. They can read and learn about morals, friendship, love and family.

If your child is going through a difficult time in their life, such as the separation of parents, starting a new school, the death of a loved one, bullying, or puberty, books can be a great source of information and comfort. There may be books that your child can read at these times to help them understand what they are going through. This may help to relieve any anxiety and stress your child may feel.

Reading can give your child the tools to make good choices in life, whether it be about positive relationships, education, health and lifestyle.

Children can learn about their bodies, healthy lifestyles, diet and exercise through reading books and magazines.

Reading is a more interactive activity than watching television. When children read they are involved with the book, imagining the characters and scenes, and painting images in their minds, rather than just staring blankly at a television screen. This encourages your child to be creative and think for themselves.

Bonding time

Reading is a great activity that you and your child can enjoy together. You could read to your child, or they could read to you while you enjoy the stories together. This is a fantastic way to spend quality time with your child, and can be a very bonding experience. Many people recall fond childhood memories of a parent reading to them at bedtime. Why not do the same for your child?

Reading with your child is also a great conversation starter. You can talk to your child about the ideas and messages conveyed in a story, and ask them what they feel about them. This will encourage your child to analyze what they have read and learned about, and form opinions which they can then confidently share with you, and others.

All about you

Reading is great for adults too! Settling down with a good book or a favorite magazine is a great way to ungas at the end of a stressful day, and enjoy some 'you' time. It can take your mind of your worries and woes, and often a bit of time out helps you to put things in perspective and cope better.

But don't think that the benefits of reading for adults are limited to relaxation!

Adults can also develop their vocabulary and improve their spelling, literacy and comprehension skills in the same way that children do. Life is a learning curve - it's never too late to learn.

There is a huge choice of books available to you. Novels, fiction, non-fiction, biographies - the list is endless, you are bound to find something you enjoy.

Self-help, self-improvement, health, motivational and educational books will give you a greater awareness and general knowledge.

Reading is a great way to expand your own horizons; you can learn about pretty much anything you choose!

Healthy lifestyle

Now that you're bolstering your brainpower and working on your wellbeing, you may as well fit in time for the physical as well!

If you do like to read, make sure you also take the time to do some exercise. You need at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day. You could go for a walk, a jog, go to the gym or go swimming. Stay active to keep fit and healthy. If you are at a good part in your book - when you can't put it down! - you could take a walk to a local park or café and read the book there.

Also make sure that you eat healthily. Don't gorge on unhealthy junk food, particularly if you do like to read and spend a lot of time sitting still. Try to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables every day. Munching on fruits, nuts and seeds will keep your body fit and healthy

"cheat" meals

One of the most favorite things of anyone who's dieting or following a carefully regulated nutritional program is the so called 'scheduled cheats'.

These are basically meals or days planned into your schedule that allow you some leeway to eat the foods you are craving and relax your willpower for a while.

There are many different ways to incorporate cheats into your program as there are also both positive and negative aspects that go along with cheats.One of the common ways to incorporate a cheat into your plan is to have a cheat day. This is basically a day where you can eat whatever you want, not following a schedule.

How 'intensely' you choose to do this is an individual preference. Some people choose to just go all out and eat anything and everything they can get their hands on, often eating thousands of calories at a time

Another way to incorporate a cheat is to just have a cheat meal rather than a day. In this case the person would just eat whatever it was that they had been craving at one meal and follow their regular meal plan as scheduled.

Usually with these types of cheats, the focus is on eating 'forbidden' foods since they will be eating as normal for the rest of the day.

Physiologically, cheats can offer many benefits. If you have been dieting pretty hardcore, it's likely that you have low muscle glycogen levels. Along with this often comes a sluggish feeling during your workouts and less than optimal strength.

You may also find that you are fatiguing faster than normal and are not able to keep up with your previous performance.

A cheat meal or day, since it often means an excess of calories and carbohydrates taken in, will serve to replenish some of these stores, which will help give you more energy and train harder at your next workouts.

Along with decreased muscle glycogen that goes with dieting, there is also a slowing of the metabolism effect. The body senses starvation and tries to lower the amount of energy it needs to continue to function on a daily basis.

This means you will be burning less calories just sitting there than if you hadn't been dieting, which makes weight loss even harder.

When you shock your system with a high influx of calories at one time, the body's metabolism will show an increase and you'll kick start your 'furnace' into high gear once again.

This will help you body to get less accustomed to running on a lower caloric level and make getting lean easier.

Generally, the leaner you get, the more cheat days or meals will be needed to get this 'high gear' effect.

Note, however, that a better approach to dealing with this subject is more of a reefed approach where you will intake a large amount of carbohydrates, which are the body's main source of fuel, rather than just eating vast quantities of junk.Often however, with many bodybuilders or fitness elites, foods that they choose to cheat with are high in carbohydrates (such as pasta and bread) so they would serve this purpose as well.The next reason to consider whether or not you should cheat is how it will affect you psychologically. Many people feel that cheat meals help them deal with the feelings of restriction they endure while on a diet.

They find that by looking forward to splurging on their favorite foods they have an easier time sticking with their diet the rest of the time.On the flip side of the coin, though, cheating may turn into a negative psychological thing for some people.

Those people who decide to have a cheat day and eat so much in one period that they physically become ill or find themselves fantasizing about their cheat day for many days ahead of time may want to look at the possibility that they are becoming obsessed with food.It's almost like an all or none thing with these people, either they are 100% perfect all the time, or else detour and just go crazy and all out binge.

I feel that this practice may be setting them up for a more serious issue of developing an eating disorder or unhealthy views about food that may last a lifetime.

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